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Well, I don't call, Shemale because I never think of it, and I never have
anything to say. when we talk, it's subjects they bring up, and
awkwardly deflected questions about me, my career, my future. I don't
quite believe in the future, but this isn't something easy to explain
in casual friendly conversation.

but I do have something to say now. We Live Together I want to tell them, "a month ago
I figured out that I'm gay."

I told this to my roommate wednesday night. it took me several
restless hours to work up the nerve. we've Reality Porn known each other 6 years
or so, roomed together maybe 3. he was stunned, but covered it well.
his reflex question was, "most people figure this out in college. are
you sure?" yes, Cumshots I'm very sure. I spent a year worrying about it.

maybe I should be upset he asked, but it's a natural question, and no
big deal. what bothers me more is I know why it took me so long to
figure it out, but I don't know if I can tell this to anyone or not.

worrying over a secret is exhausting.

when I called my mom yesterday, we had our usual chitchat, and her
usual gentle probes into my 8th Street Latinas social life, or lack thereof. she asked
when I would "settle down", and my flippant answer is "tomorrow". I
answer the same when relatives ask me when I'll get married.

in the shower, a little later, the incurable optimist within me said,
maybe she suspects already. maybe when she asks about girlfriends
she's waiting for me to casually 69 XXX mention a boyfriend instead.

but I doubt this is true. we talked about movies, and mom said there
were a few she wanted to see, but dad doesn't like to go. she said,
at our age, people see movies as couples, though sometimes people see
them with girlfriends. and she corrected herself: "I mean, girls go
with girl friends, and boys go Boys first time with boy friends". not as couples.

so she doesn't even consider it. (the optimist pipes up: maybe she
does suspect; she's just afraid of my reaction if she brings it up.
some day, I'm going to pummel that optimist into submission.)

my roommate never suspected. partly because I did have a girlfriend
once, sort of. my parents know her too.